24 Things I learned in 2014:

1. People will do anything to lose weight. And by anything, I mean all things that are bad for you and will most likely make you fatter.

2. People search for health in all the wrong places.

3. People don’t realize they’re wrongfully searching. 4. Our current society remains geared toward less input and more output for means of more growth and profit and less health and wellness. 5. I may be practicing a new sense of cynicism? 6. Self-confidence projects greatly onto others. 7. Self-love projects greatly onto others. 8. The Little Engine That Could was onto something (I think I can, I think I can) 9. Women will growl at you when told that salads are actually NOT the do all, be all, end all of ‘health’. 10. We’re still only one happy meal away from the end of humanity. 11. Happiness for some is simply absence of pain. 12. I may in fact be funny? 13. Science can be biased. 14. Thus education can be biased. 15. The chicken didn’t want to get to the other side; he wanted to get to the better side. 16. There lies a fine line between optimization and adaptation. And knowing where that line exists is critical. 17. I’m not a pint of chocolate ice cream; I can’t make everybody happy. And neither can you. 18. The phrase, “If you believe in yourself, anything is possible.” has lost its clichéness entirely and recently become real. 19. Laughter really is the best medicine. 20. Simplicity really is key. 21. Irony really isn’t irony at all when you think about it.. 22. People still go crazy over lists. And there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. 23. There’s also nothing I can do about dog hair. I’ve given up. Don’t come over. 24. Ignore the signs, and swim in the water anyway. It will be even more rejuvenating than you ever imagined.

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